Bottom Pair of Aces
by Jeva
Summary: [The others have no idea I'm recounting these adventures. If they even found out, I'd probably be strangled to death and then they'd burn this before taking my top hat and hiding it for a month.] Kaito tells the story of how a heist becomes a body switch.
1. Introduction

"I blame you."

"Me? How can you blame me?"

"Kuroba?"

"Yeah?"

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT STOLE THE JEWEL!"

"...oh, yeah..."

Muttering.

"It's not that bad. We'll just have to work this way until we're normal again."

"And how long will that take?"

"...twenty-eight days?"

"Kuroba?"

"Yeah?"

"If the situation was different and you _ weren't _ in my body, I would _ kill you_."

"Gee, think you could frown any heavier? You're going to give me wrinkles if you keep that up. Besides, like I said: it's not that bad--"

"You forgot one thing."

"What?"

"YOU HAVE A HEIST IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!"

  


--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--

  


_**Well, that was the introduction. Got you right into the action, didn't it? Bet it did. I know I'd win because I'm just lucky that way. Anyway, if you haven't picked up on the story-line just yet, let me replay what was said:**_

'If the situation was different and you weren't _ in my body, I would _ kill you_.'****_

Now we all know that no one was actually killed here. (If they were then I wouldn't be telling the story. Murders aren't my thing. Leave that for Kudo and Hattori. Plus, I would be the dead one, wouldn't I?) No, we all got through it and came out better in the end...maybe. Kudo's still deciding whether or not he should have my head for what happened, and I'm still wondering if I should pack my smoke bombs just in case I need to get out of my house fast. Other than that, however, we're doing pretty well, considering.

Eh, don't ask about the considering. You know what always happens in our lives. Dead bodies dropping all around Kudo, my fervent search for the Pandora Gem, Hattori's nagging by Kazuha, and Hakuba's fetish for chasing after me and wearing tweed... Nothing's normal for the Gosho Boys, after all. It would be too weird if it was normal...

Well, on the plus side, this experience has taught me to learn the value of keeping out of water when I'm wearing white, keeping my gems with me at all times, and making sure to remember--always remember Poker Face. Oh, and balance. Did I forget balance? Damn. I messed up my nice monologue there...

Continuing before I continue to get side-tracked: The others have no idea I'm recounting these adventures. If they even found out, I'd probably be strangled to death and then they'd burn this before taking my top hat and hiding it for a month. (They've done it before, the bastards. I blame Hattori for that one! He's cruel, really. You hear that, Kazuha? Your man needs some lessons on manners and on how to keep a top hat in good shape! All the hours wasted cleaning it because I was out of hats after that month...) Still, I'm telling this story to make me feel better about myself and for me to laugh at the looks on the others' faces if they ever do see this.

Aren't I the best, really? I mean, seriously, I could plan an entire heist just to deliver each one of them a copy of this and then keep one for myself so that they would never be able to take it from me! (Hah, that might actually work!)

Seriously though, I do appreciate Kudo's self-restraint and patience with the situation, otherwise he would have killed me long before we got the situation fixed and then there would have been an even bigger problem of identity. I guess spending over two years as a little kid has taught him a lot about being in control of his frustration and his positively annoying habit of being right about everything. He only managed to say 'I told you so'...oh...143 times before the twenty-eight days was up. I'm proud of you, Kudo. Stars for everyone! (Insert sarcasm here if one must or needs or wants or positively can't do without.)

Now we can start with the actual story since I've confused you enough. And I know this kind of font gets annoying, so I'll fix that. This is just my pre-story, during-story, and post-story narrative italics and bold. You know me. I like to stand out. So without further ado, I present to you the adventures of the Gosho Boys who love to get themselves into odd and strange situations. (Though this has been our strangest yet...the others were just insane.) I shall call it 30 Day Trial Period!

...no...that doesn't sound quite right...hm...maybe Daughter of the Sky after the jewel? Blech...that's way too cliché. Come on, people, throw a dog a bone here. It needs to fit the theme. But what theme am I talking about here? Ah ha! You wouldn't know because I haven't started telling any of those stories. No need to worry, you'll get the idea eventually. (Whenever I get a certain someone to write for me. Heh. That will be fun. Let's see if I can't get people involved!)

And so now the perfect title hits me, and I must leave you, my wonderful audience. For the curtain is rising, and I have my own role to play in this performance. So now...

PRESENTED BY PhANToM, LtD._****_

A KAITOU KID XD_** PRODUCTION**_

  


BOTTOM PAIR OF ACES_****_

  


And no, there's no logic in this. You'll get the idea, and then I'll steal it back from you to modify a bit and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

I'm sure you get the picture

Yours truly and with his top hat safely locked up,

Kuroba Kaito  
AKA  
Kaitou Kid

  


* * *

_Author's Notes:_ I have no idea what has possessed me. Just run with it, folks. I think this might actually work out for me. O.o' BTW, the removal of Ten In One Odds is temporary. You'll see why.


	2. Act 1 Scene 1: The Grand Escape

_**Act One**_

Scene One: The Grand Escape--Twice!

  


**_ Let me set the scene for you: A bridal shop. Around mid-afternoon. Two years after Kudo's shrinking and almost three years after I'd become Kaitou Kid._**

We were all in search of something for our favorite 'neechan.' What would that be that would be found in a shop that proposes marriage and-or something implying that one is getting married? Well, that would be the perfect thing for any young woman for her wedding. A dress, naturally. And it wouldn't be an ordinary one, of course. Despite Kudo being unable to attend this get-together because of a more serious reason than the superstition that the groom shouldn't see the bride in her dress until the wedding, we still had three young men to help out with the selections along with the intelligent input from the three other females.

Aoko was beside herself, really. Her face was all red and she had her fists clenched, waiting impatiently for her dearest friend to listen to her when she demanded something. Of course, this friend liked to remain ignorant of her impatience and just let her stew until she burst:

"KUROBA KAITO, IF YOU DON'T TAKE OFF THAT DRESS, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU BE A FLOWER GIRL!"

**_ ...did I mislead you? Sorry._**

That dearest friend I was speaking of was me, of course. Ran-chan was still getting her dress on, but as everyone knows, when I get bored there is hardly anything that can stop me from doing something ridiculous. Of course, this was ridiculous enough to get looks from even the other side of the store. Aoko must have been mad as hell, seeing me standing there in my emergency bridal disguise--minus the feminine details and makeup. That would have been a little too much for her, as she didn't know I was the Kaitou Kid yet.

Eh...now you're going to be asking why I didn't tell her even though Kudo's secret was blown way open to everyone in our small group the very same day he was returned to normal. Simple answer for me, really. Despite Kudo's continued attempts to bring justice to the Black Organization, I still had yet to find the Pandora and wouldn't allow it to go unchecked. Even if seemed as if the Organization had lost its hold. I didn't trust the world enough to even think that.

So I was still the Kaitou Kid. Well, that didn't mean that some people didn't know. Hakuba, Hattori, and Kudo were all in the know because I was the one that helped them really take down the Black Organization. That's why there was a truce between us. They were free to catch me when I was at work. Once a civilian, however, I wasn't to be touched. They kept that truce pretty well, unless they had the urge to do something cruel and unusual.

Like shoving me into a dressing room so they didn't have to stare at me in a dress. Hakuba and Hattori were so stunned that I had done such a thing that as soon as Aoko had shouted, they had done that very thing to me. I didn't take this sitting down, of course, and merely exited the dressing room again, holding up the bouquet in exasperation. "I'm only trying to make Ran-chan feel more comfortable!"

Ran-chan poked her head from behind her own dressing room door and gave Sonoko and Kazuha a confused look as they blocked her from view. "What's going on?" she asked, curious. "Did I hear that Kaito-kun was in a dress?"

"No, no, no," Kazuha was quick to reassure her, as if it would have been a terrible thing to let her know the truth. "Kaito's just..."

Sonoko finished with a cruel grin toward Aoko and me, "Trying to see if a dress would fit Aoko-chan just right."

There was a long pause between the two detectives and the two best friends--Aoko and me, of course. I looked over to her just as she looked over to me, and we immediately went red. I was then shoved into the dressing room again by the detectives, being informed that they would start singing about those evil, disgusting little things that live in the ocean, gulping up water and plankton and bugs and seaweed and anything else that could get into their gross, disgusting, terrible, gaping mouths.

**_Yes, they threatened with fish. Excuse me while I shudder._**

And puke.

And run away screaming.

What's wrong with a guy having a fear of aquatic creatures? I mean, really.

Okay, back to the story.

I was done playing dress up for the moment and was sat between the two detectives to be watched over. It felt almost like I had my own little security guards already even though I was about as free from jail as Kudo was from elementary.

_** Sorry. Lousy pun. I couldn't help it. It's always sitting right there.**_

You know what. This is a very slow beginning, but it'll get better. Promise. Phantom thief's honor.

"Okay, she's ready!" Sonoko announced while Kazuha giddily came over and sat next to Hattori, making the Osaka-tanned detective look to her funny. I think he didn't get the idea that she wanted him to see her reaction to the dress so he'd get the idea to ask the girl out. Sadly, I've noticed in my times with the detectives that relationships are not their strong point.

...I know what you're thinking. Neither is mine. The difference is that I know what young women like because I have to dress up as them half of the time. Plus I have a mother who taught me these sort of things to rely on later in life. The only reason I act like an idiot is because I have my role to play. See, Kuroba Kaito gets on women's nerves. Kaitou Kid swoons them with merely a glance and a smirk.

**_Could be the mysterious, daring, and dangerous parts of the persona that people are in love with, but whatever works._**

Aoko stood dutifully near the mirror, smiling brightly, also probably imagining herself in a wedding dress. The problem is that I wasn't sure who she was picturing for the groom. Maybe she was just standing alone in a dress in her day dream? Hah, fat chance.

Sonoko remained near the dressing room door and cleared her throat before announcing as if Ran-chan was a royal princess, "Here's the perfect dress for Mouri Ran, soon to be Kudo Ran! Come on out, Ran!"

There was a long pause.

I swear I saw a vein appear on the blonde's forehead right before she turned to the door. "Are you okay in there, Ran?" she asked kindly, though she probably knew why Ran-chan was hesitating.

It's not everyday you realize you're going to marry your best friend and the man you love...

**_That made me sound a whole lot more troubled than describing myself in a dress._**

"Sonoko," Ran-chan said in a moaning whine, "I don't know if I can do this. It's too much. Too much designs. Too much white. Too much--"

"Too much talking, not enough action," interrupted Sonoko, nodding along before gaining a very evil grin that made the others sweatdropped. I myself could learn to appreciate that kind of a grin. "You're right, Ran. There's entirely too much of that going on, so how 'bout I help you out in there--" And in she went, her entrance punctuated with some squeals and shrieks.

Then Ran was pushed out of the dressing room, wearing a very nice and very simple white wedding dress. I viewed it with the eye of a thief and costume wearer. Even though it was simple, there was still the small, intricate pattern of sakura petals falling from branches. The branches were sown across the left breast and the sakura petals fell down to the end of the skirt, which wasn't too wide or long for Ran-chan at all. A pretty dress that symbolized a lot of things.

Needless to say that everyone loved it.

"Wow, Neechan," Hattori said in wide-eyed surprise. "Wait until Kudo gets to see you in that."

Ran-chan's face went red at that while Kazuha and Aoko skipped over to her, talking a mile a minute about makeup, hairstyle. I heard my name mentioned there somewhere but didn't dare to interject for fear of female wrath.

Hattori must have heard his name mentioned, too, because he was the one to lean over and suggest to Hakuba, "Any chance of us getting out of here without them noticing?"

The half-British, tweed-wearing detective barely glanced across me over to him. "Only one chance," he stated calmly, taking care not to let the women know what they were conspiring to do.

"You're right," Hattori agreed before they both went silent.

I sat there for a minute before realizing why they were so quiet. I looked to either side of me, and they were both staring at me intently. Sweatdropping, I asked with a laugh, "Did I leave the veil on when I took off the dress or something?"

Neither said anything.

I tossed my hands up. "All right! Fine!" I agreed to their silent terms before sternly reprimanding them, "You know this is abuse of my abilities and not only will I remember this, I will make you rue the day that you ever decided to use my abilities in public like this. And we had a truce, too! And what kind of law-abiding men are you for trying to skip out--"

They both slapped hands onto my mouth, hissing for me to be quiet. I mentally grinned at my plan working and managed to work my magic to pull out three manikins to stand in front of each of us without either Hakuba or Hattori being the wiser. By the time they did notice, I was out of there, running for my dear life.

Aoko was going to _kill_ me for allowing the other two to escape like that.

  


--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--XD--

  


We three men managed to somehow end up at the same place. I guess we all agreed that that was the safest place to be, considering who was chasing us. After all, what kind young woman would upset the recently-recovered Kudo Shinichi? Certainly not our favorites--Aoko and Kazuha. Sonoko was a different story. We would have probably had to hide under the bed to get away from her, but luckily, we hadn't the need.

Plus Kudo was mad enough that we were all clumped in his room, constantly peeking through the window and the door like we were some sort of deranged version of security. In fact, I think Kudo said something about us watching too much spy movies after the whole Black Organization scenario.

Hakuba manned the door while Hattori had the window. I happily sat myself on the end of Kudo's bed while he narrowed his eyes at me accusingly, as if I was the reason he had to stay in the bed for another two days or so. Of course, he didn't say that. He merely asked, "So how'd you get the three of you out of there?"

I cocked my head to the side before crossing my legs and placing a hand on a knee with my elbow sticking up as I leaned forward. "Don't you know any better than to ask a magician his tricks? Especially a magician like me," I said with a bit of a huff before sitting up straight and crossing my arms, sticking my nose in the air. "How rude. You should know better, Kudo. Do I ask you about your second childhood--?"

"Yes, and often," he answered with annoyance, folding his arms himself after he sat himself up. "I'm only asking because I was hoping you could do me a favor."

Now the other two detectives turned to the conversation.

"Oi, Kudo," Hattori said with an uncomfortable look. "You're not thinking of going somewhere, are you?"

"That wouldn't be the best of ideas," stated Hakuba with a grim expression, "being that the girls probably want our heads for leaving them the way we did. Especially Kuroba."

I cheerfully remarked, interrupting Kudo from answering, "They only take heads in England, Haku-chan. Here, they request that you take a knife to your belly and _then_ decapitate you."

Hattori snorted. "You aren't samurai, so you wouldn't have to worry about that."

"Touché," I responded with a frown.

Kudo said before anyone else could say anything else on the matter of _seppuku_, "I just can't stand being inside all day when I know that I'm perfectly fine. I mean, would you like it if someone invited you to a chance to catch the world-renown thief during his heist tonight?"

"Hell no," Hattori was quick to respond before giving me an apologetic look. "Not that it's anything against you, Kuroba, but I'm eager to see your alter-ego being bars."

I waved it off. "I'm used to it. Hakuba's kept me up to par with people's expectations."

The blond detective rolled his eyes. "You make that sound so perverted."

"Did I?" I asked innocently before eyeing him suspiciously. "Are you sure you aren't creating fantasies in your head? I know Koizumi put some strange ideas there from that time you were captive to her witching power--"

"NOTHING HAPPENED!"

I smirked at the denial and snickered to myself at how red Hakuba's face could get. Who knew mentioning that one time would get to him so much. Maybe, I thought to myself, there would time to investigate and tease the matter into a summary of just what occurred during that time.

_**Of course you wouldn't know about this. I'll leave this up to Hakuba to tell. **_

Kudo shook his head. "But you all see my point, right?" he asked, almost desperately now.

"So you want to have sort of a guy's night out thing?" Hattori asked, thinking carefully.

I beamed, bouncing on the bed. "I like the idea. We can start now." As soon as I said the last word, I quickly bounded over to the closet and pulled out some of Kudo's clothes. Then, before he could protest, had him wearing them in under two seconds.

I got a dirty look from that. "I am never going to ask why the hell you like to do that to people," he stated before climbing out of bed and standing up. "Hattori, make sure no one can see us. Hakuba, you go ahead of us. Kuroba, do your thing."

I saluted. "Aye, aye, mon Capitan!"

It didn't take us very long at all to get out of there. In fact, we managed to get out of there just as the girls began to enter the front door. So the rest of the day was ours and the night...well, that would be one of the most interesting heists I have had in ages. Three detectives, Nakamori-keibu, and the 1412 Taskforce all after one magician thief dressed all in white with a monocle and top hat.

**_ And people wonder why I like what I do. XD_**

  


* * *

_Author's notes:_ So the first scene is up. Sorry if it's too short for your taste but my Kaito persona likes the short chapters. It's all like a play for some reason. Hence the title of the chapter. -rolls eyes- Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to the reviewers and to explain the title of this fic. Basically, this is an oxymoron I came up with to fit the theme of my DC/MK stories (meaning TIOO, which will be posted later on--brand spanking new). A bottom pair is basically when you make a pair with the lowest card in the flop during poker. The flopped bottom pair. So Aces can't necessarily be a bottom pair, as they are the highest cards. Do you get the idea? If not, think on it a bit and let me know what you think. Ja! 


	3. Act 1 Scene 2: The Heist

**_Scene Two:_** _ The Heist (Must Learn More On Balance)_

  


_**Before we go any farther into the story, I just want to quickly say that you should never believe a word Kudo says. He just never likes being the one who did something wrong. XP**_

Ah. The scene that I loved to see every time I went out on my heists. Crowds of fans all cheering, screaming, holding up "Kaitou Kid, I want your baby" signs--**_okay, even I have to admit that's way disturbing, but flattering, nonetheless_**--while the 1412 Taskforce scattered themselves within the crowd and the building where the object that I would steal sat, waiting for me to swoop in and snatch under everyone's noses. Nakamori-keibu standing there in the building near the jewel, chewing on the butt of his cigar, swearing to himself as he watched a clock impatiently with his hands stuck in his pockets, was always a welcoming and amusing sight to behold.

Especially whenever I went up to him and gave a quick bow.

"Nakamori-keibu," I said in a low voice of the 250-pound, 6 foot 2 inch officer I was impersonating. His name was Watsabe Kento and was a newbie on the Taskforce. I had decided to give him an small taste of what to expect from Kaitou Kid that night, and I impersonated him, he was happily resting in the backseat of an empty police car in the crow-filled parking lot. "The perimeter's secure, and we're awaiting orders."

The Inspector gave his usual vocal response to this. A grunt.

I mentally grinned to myself. You really should let your men know what you're planning, keibu, I thought to myself as I remained beside him. "Sir?" I asked in a vaguely confused tone that seemed to wake the Inspector from his thoughts.

"What the hell do you want!" he snapped, nerves obviously on end from the waiting. "Are you #$ing new here or something! Why don't you just #$ing wait for the #$ to start!"

I sweatdropped.

_**I could never get used to his temper or his language, really.**_

"Sorry, sir," I responded with a bit of a stammer before rushing off into an empty hall, leaving him scowling and cursing Kaitou Kid's riddles and making them wait all of the time, completely forgetting about Watsabe ever being there.

I pulled off my mask and mentally patted myself on the back. I had managed to do all of that while Hakuba and Hattori were in the room, too. Very good, though it was Kudo I was most concerned about. I hadn't seen him the whole time in my disguise, and it was making me a bit uncomfortable. Frowning, I managed to get my monocle and top hat on when I heard Nakamori-keibu suddenly yell, "Kaitou Kid's in the hall!"

I froze.

Kudo did _not_ just use his bow tie.

He did.

I could see him grinning from his hiding place right behind Nakamori-keibu, who looked vaguely confused until he spotted my head sticking out from around the corner. "THERE HE IS!" came the inevitable bellow, along with the finger pointing.

I blanched as I saw the entire 1412 Taskforce focus on me. Then I laughed sheepishly, putting a hand behind my head in supposed-embarrassment.

As soon as they came to the entrance of the hallway, I pulled a cord that I had concealed in my disguise just for this purpose.

_POOM!_

A cloud of pink smoke enshrouded the hall, making the officers back away, some of them coughing. I emerged only a second later, flipping over their heads and landing on another artifact's case. My white suit was perfectly devoid of any incriminating or otherwise filthy marks as I had just gotten this suit recently as my other one had been ruined in the Black Organization conflict. **_(I made sure to send the bill to Kudo, as he was the one who messed it up.)_** My cape, though, was the same one as before as I had to leave it behind during the entire episode. I smirked over to the detectives and Nakamori-keibu, giving them all a small greeting with a salute.

It felt good to be back at a normal heist. Something that I hadn't been able to go on for the past few weeks.

"Good evening, gentlemen," I said politely, grinning the whole time as I looked on all of their faces. Oh, how they hated me when I was in this suit. Even Nakamori-keibu liked me a whole lot more as Kuroba Kaito. "I hope you've been enjoying yourselves. I do aim to please, always."

Nakamori-keibu bristled as his temper boiled. "You're #$ing early!" he exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at me. "And you gave yourself away! What the hell are you up to by doing that, anyway!"

I couldn't help but to laugh at that. "But, Nakamori-san," I said, deciding to have a little fun with him, "I wouldn't be Kaitou Kid without something up my sleeve, now would I?" And as soon as I said this, I proved my point by making the Daughter of the Sky gem appear in my gloved hand, grinning all the while.

They were all outraged.

Especially Kudo.

_**Oh, the look on his face was especially priceless.**_

Then, the moment was ended by Nakamori-keibu managing to splutter out, "GET HIM!"

Dog-pile on the bandit.

_**...I l**_**_ove that game._**

I jumped off the case and somersaulted over the detectives and Inspector's head, laughing the whole while as I heard the men of the 1412 Taskforce fall on top of the display, causing more of a mess than I did. I knew that the detectives and Nakamori-keibu wouldn't give up the chase, and so I continued to run to the roof, where I was greeted by the sight of my escape route.

Just as I started to head over to it, I heard a whizzing sound. Never a good sound in my professor, so I dropped to the ground just as a large object slammed into the air conditioning unit that sat on the roof. I looked up at it and saw that it was one of those soccer balls that Kudo had used whenever he was Edogawa Conan. I looked behind me, knowing I had a frightened look on my face.

The four men were all right behind me. Kudo looked especially smug.

"You can really hurt someone with those things, you know!" I called back at them before pulling out a smoke bomb and detonating it just as they reached me.

_POOM!_

Whoos--

YOINK!

"GYA--!" I said without meaning to as I felt someone grab hold of my cape just as I tried to run toward the edge of the building. The person who was holding onto it was the unlucky one as I fell back onto him, causing his breath to leave him in a _oof!_ I quickly leapt off of him just in time to discover that he still had a hold of it without it being attached to my shoulders anymore!

Hattori grinned up at me, even though he was gasping for breath.

I mentally kicked myself as I leapt up on top of the air conditioning unit, getting away just as Hakuba and Kudo came to tackle me. They both hit the ground, landing on top of one another in a not-so-graceful manner. That's when I got suspicious.

"Not your usual ways of doing things, detectives," I called down to them with a more serious tone to my voice. "You know, I never appreciated an audience that mocks me."

Hakuba looked up from his position on top of Kudo--

**_...yeah...forget I wrote this. No innuendo, please..._**

--and smirked as he responded, "Oh, we take you seriously, Kid. We just decided to take a new route to get where we want to go."

Feeling slightly uneasy, I began retreat a few steps, ready to try any way to get out of the situation I was now in. What a time for the detectives to try new tactics. Should have expected it, I thought to myself. The first heist after our working together...they obviously learned new things from my civilian persona. "And just where is it that we're going, Hakuba-tantei?" I asked, hoping to keep the conversation going until I could figure out what they were up to.

Hakuba didn't respond but stood up, allowing Kudo to sit up and grin up at me. "Behind bars, Kid."

I felt a chill go up my spine as I realized someone was missing. I knew just who it was, but where Nakamori-keibu went was a different story all together. "So how do you go about taking this new route?"

Conversation was coming to an end, and Hattori came up beside Hakuba and held up my cape. "You should know that tactic the best, Kaitou Kid," he said, taking a more formal approach to this, seeming to be more grim about the situation now that the climax was approaching. "Distraction."

Only the sound of a footstep alerted me to Nakamori-keibu's presence behind me. I spun around, pulling out my card gun and shooting at the ground in front of his feet. He stopped, freezing with a suddenly freaked-out look on his face. I could understand why. Kaitou Kid never allowed violence, but he would do whatever necessary to get out of a situation.

And I couldn't afford to be caught off-guard like that.

"My apologies, keibu," I said sincerely to him, "but I'm afraid that it's too early for me to be going with you right now..."

Nakamori-keibu fumed at this. "I've got you fair and square this time, Kid!" he shouted angrily. "Don't you dare say that I didn't! And I'm not about to let you go when I've got you!"

I smiled darkly at this, not the lest bit amused. I hated confrontations like this. Nakamori-keibu was like an uncle to me, caring about me and allowing me to treat his home like a second one. He was the reason I had the chance to meet Aoko, to know her and care for her. To constantly be his enemy this way...it was one of the things that I detested about my life as Kaitou Kid.

"I concede to the point that you've cornered me fairly, Nakamori-san," I told him after a brief pause. "However, I do not necessarily think that I am caught yet. You'll just have to try harder next time, I suppose."

And with that, I pulled a special card from my vest pocket and loaded my card gun with it. Then I turned and fired it at my cape, knocking it out of Hattori's hands. With another push of a button, the cape came flying back toward me, being pulled by the wire attached to the card. As soon as I got my cape again, I had to dodge Nakamori-keibu, who tried to catch a hold of me. He stumbled to a stop right near the edge of the unit we were standing on and turned back toward me, livid.

I flipped my cape back onto my shoulders and gave a mock-bow before activating my glider.

Nothing happened.

I suppose I went bug-eyed at this as I looked down at the button that activated it. "Come on," I hissed under my breath, careful not to let myself be heard. "Why won't you work?"

"Sorry, Kid." I spun around to see Kudo standing there with his hands placed neatly in his pockets. "Hattori managed to cut off the wiring to your glider. Looks like you're grounded like everyone else is."

I clenched my teeth, sweating uncertainly. It was so much easier to think of him as my ally that when it came down right to this, pulling out all of the stops was more difficult for me to do. How could he possibly be so calm when he knew he was going to put a friend in jail? Ah, but I knew he wasn't calm. I could see his fists clenched in his pockets. It was as much of an act as all of the my other stunts were.

I looked down to the ground and smirked. It was all an act, no matter which way you looked at it. The only one not a true part of the act was Nakamori-keibu. He was just the audience we were dressed to impress. So impress him I would.

I looked back up at Kudo, holding up my hands--the right one holding the card gun still--and shrugging. "Well, it seems like I'll have to make do without it tonight. But be assured, Kudo, that I will be in the air next we meet."

"I don't doubt it," he responded coolly.

That was my cue. I slid my card gun back into its holster just as I started to run to the edge of the unit and then leaping, knowing the secondary escape route was right beneath me. Kudo, Nakamori, Hattori, and Hakuba all seemed shocked that I would take such drastic measures, but it really wasn't as drastic as they all thought.

I landed perfectly on the round pipe that ran from the rooftop to the neighboring building's rooftop. I looked back to the others and laughed loudly at their expressions.

_**Really, did they not remember who I was?**_

"Like I said, Nakamori-san!" I called back to him, a large grin on my face. I was going to have a chance to go on a heist another night. "This isn't the night that I'll be caught! Ja matta ne!"

I started walking off, thinking it would be safe to do so since none of the detectives or the Inspector could balance as well as I did. I honestly had no idea Kudo would do something so idiotic.

"Just a minute, Kid," I heard him say from behind me.

I turned and saw him balancing on the pole, his hands out to his sides to help him keep his balance. Eyes were straight on me, keeping away from the fall below. I nearly fell over in a panic. What the hell was the thinking? He was going to get himself killed. Ran-chan wouldn't have her wedding if he got killed. Hakuba and Hattori would _kill_ me if anything happened to the idiot tantei!

"This is dangerous ground, tantei!" I warned, so as to have an argument in case this incident would be brought up against me. "Just call it a night and I'll see you again in two weeks!"

"Two weeks?" he asked with a smirk, confident in his balancing. "That's your next heist then."

I watched his feet warily, just waiting for the wobbling to become more erratic. "Well, if you must know, I plan to have a message delivered tomorrow," I responded carefully, not wanting to startle him and cause him to fall. I suppose that was when the crowd's cheering suddenly began to register to me. Usually when I was on a heist, I tuned out all of the cheering unless it served a purpose.

Right then, it was a distraction.

"Kudo Shinichi, I think it's time for you to give up the case tonight," I said in a firmer tone, not at all liking how he was putting himself into so much danger so soon of getting out of it. "I wouldn't want misfortune to befallen you before you're big day. Not on my behalf."

Kudo smirked. "Oh, it won't be on your behalf."

I noticed he was looking behind me and saw the 1412 Taskforce on the other roof. They were all waiting for me to make a choice on where to go. With Kudo on one end and my inability to fly, there wasn't much choice to it.

I was going to have to jump.

But I also had to play my role. "Well thought out," I commended Kudo and the others standing on the roof I had just left. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

Kudo realized what I was doing at the last second. "Kid!"

"I'll see you in two weeks!" I called cheerfully before stepping to the side and dropping off of the pole like a stone.

**_Planning ahead is a marvelous thing. I planned ahead to where I would have that pole if my cape malfunctioned. I also planned falling into the neighboring hotel's pool if I was trapped on the pole._**

But Kudo didn't know I planned ahead.

Right before I hit the water of the hotel's pool, I realized that Kudo had fell off the pole and cursed myself for breaking his concentration. Then I hit water.

_SPLOOSH!_

When the second splash came, something I didn't expect to happen happened. I would have thought it was one of my smoke bombs going off if I hadn't known they were waterproof. How was I supposed to know that the legend surrounding the Daughter of the Sky gem was real? How was I supposed to know that I would spend the next twenty-eight days in the body of my rival--the detective who chose to blame the situation on me when it could have just as easily not have happened if he hadn't wanted to be the daredevil that night?

_**...then again, I could be the one to blame, because I decided to take an interest in Edogawa Conan. If I never met the twerp, I would have never done half the things I ended up doing--mostly getting switched with his adult persona. How wonderful. Perfect way to end one of my more challenging heists.**_

  


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_Author's notes:_ -sweatdrops- Well, that was a lot more than I originally had planned. Not as funny as the other two parts, but hopefully just as fun. Anyway, the legend behind the Daughter of the Sky gem will be explained in the next chapter, so be patient! Until next time, ja ne! 


	4. Act 1 Scene 3: Daughter of the Sky

**_Scene Three:_** _Daughter of the Sky (Making a Legend Reality)_

  


**_How many times do I have to say it? I mean, honestly, people...just because I'm a thief--a great thief that can stump just about any person I have come up against, even giving Japan's most famous detectives a run for their money each time I face them--does not mean that everything is automatically my fault. Yes, Kudo, this is a message to you when you read this. I hope you know I plan to smear your precious reputation with this story. I mean, just look at your behavior in the last Scene. XP_**

Sorry. Got a bit carried away. Heh.

Now, where was I...?

The feeling that came with the arrival of Kudo in the pool wasn't a painful one, really, even though I compared them to my smoke bombs going off--which is a pretty dangerous situation, I assure you. I suppose what I mean by that comparison is that it felt like something slammed into me with a strong force, as if something had exploded when Kudo broke the surface of the water. Then it was over, and I was left dazed and blurry-eyed.

I blinked in the water a few times before labeling the blurriness as the chlorine messing with my eyes. So I swam to the surface to get some air, not thinking much of it.

Breaking the surface, I inhaled a lungful of the sweet night air before frowning at my situation. I looked up at the pole I had jumped off of and saw that the people on top of the buildings were gone--meaning they were headed down to see if Kudo was all right. They probably didn't even think of me, knowing I could get out of the situation somehow.

I groaned in frustration. Kudo had to go and ruin my end performance like that. He was never one who liked people to steal the spotlight from him.

**_...some say the same about me for some reason..._**

Shaking my head at the situation, I turned around in the water, looking for any sign of Kudo. A little more toward the middle of the deep end of the pool, I saw something out of the corner of my eye and turned that way only to stare in horror and scramble out of the pool and put a plastic beach chair between me and the sight before me.

My body was laying face-up in the water!

I remember my thoughts going haywire at this. No, no, no. There was no way I messed this up! There was no way that I had accidentally killed myself in the jump, and the rest of it--Kudo jumping in after me and the slamming thing in the water--was made up in_ my dead mind's confusion!_ ACK! I WASN'T DEAD!

Apparently, I really wasn't dead. Not my body, at least. I could see that my eyes--the body's eyes were open, staring up at the sky with a pondering frown on my--its face. It looked calculating as if it was trying to come to an answer to a question that it had in its mind. A truly disturbing sight to behold as I was the one seeing my body do this rather than someone else seeing _me_ doing that.

_**Confusion setting in for you guys? Don't worry, I'm just as lost...**_

I was so honestly confused, that I had forgotten all about the people that were probably racing down the buildings just to see if Kudo was all right. I was wondering if I myself was all right! There was no possible way for my body to still be in the pool when I was still out of the water. There was no way that my body's brow could furrow on its own as the frown grew heavier. There was just no way--

Then it all hit me.

...Kudo was going to _kill_ me.

I panicked slightly at my revelation and looked at my hands--hands that I knew as well as I knew any trick I performed. Backwards and forwards.

These were definitely not mine.

**_...yeah. I knew I was a dead man then, but I thought I could keep my life if I treated this calmly and rationally._**

"Oi, Kudo!" I called to him, not too loudly as the crowd was still gathered on the other side of the two buildings. I saw my body sit up and felt myself sicken at this sight. This was not good at all. "Stop lazing about and get to moving!"

My body--Kudo who was _in_ my body saw me and immediately looked displeased. "Kid," he said lowly from his position in the water. "How many times have I told you not to impersonate me?"

I sweatdropped. Oh, great, I thought humorlessly. I had totally forgot about the other side of the problem. "You know," I said quickly, not sure how much time we had left, "if this was a better time, I would put this a little more gently, but I'm not really impersonating you, per se--"

I winced as I realized Kudo had already noticed his change of attire...and the unfamiliarity of the body...as well as realizing how a white suit wasn't the best color to be wearing in a pool. He ducked neck-deep into the water before shouting at me, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!"

I blinked before shouting back, pointing and waving a finger at him. "It's not my fault that you jumped in after me and decided to test the Daughter of the Sky gem to see if the legend worked!"

Kudo somehow made my own visage look as if a car ran a tire over it and he couldn't believe that he was still alive. "What do you mean '_legend!_'" he demanded angrily. "What did you do to me, Kuroba!"

I would have yelled at him for thinking about just himself at a time like this when I realized that we were wasting time. "Look," I said earnestly, "I'll explain everything once we get out of here. But we _need_ to leave _now!_"

Kudo glared at me. "Were you _planning_ to go about running around in see-through pants?" he asked, glowering darkly.

"No," I said with a bit of sarcasm. "I was planning to go butt-naked--of course I wasn't, Kudo! I was going to change into clothes I've got hidden away here. But that idea's out of the question, seeing as Nakamori-keibu and company are headed our way to see if Japan's brightest young detective survived his fall. So get over it. You're wearing blue and pink-striped boxers anyway. Suck it up."

"Blue and pink-striped?" he asked incredulously.

I felt my cheeks heat up. "They were a gift, okay!" I cried in defense, knowing he wouldn't buy the idea that I had bought them myself.

**_Even that's going a bit too far with outrageous ideas..._**

My embarrassment seemed to be the thing that got Kudo's brain into gear because he suddenly seemed to really understand the situation we were in and climbed out of the pool. I went over and helped him out as I knew the cape was most-likely weighing him down. Then we made our soggy escape. Just in time, too, because I heard the 1412 Taskforce stampede into the area just as Nakamori-keibu shouted that he would catch Kaitou Kid one of these days. You know, the traditional end-of-heist shouting he always does.

Kudo and I managed to get to a nearby bar where I told Kudo he could change his clothes. To make it less conspicuous who I--that is, who Kudo was, I took his hat, monocle, and cape from him, leaving him with a simple white suit whose pants were showing off his unique blue and pink undergarments. Before he could get too upset with the situation, I handed him over some clothes that I had stashed away near the pool area and shoved him into the bar. "Hurry up so we can get home and tell the others," I told him cheerfully, trying my hardest not to beat my head into the wall.

Why did the one time I didn't read too much on the heist's mythical background, it chose to pull a legendary swap on me? It seemed so unfair that I went through all that trouble of stealing it only to have it punish me for not looking into its info as much as I had past heists.

When Kudo next came out, I felt the pit of my stomach fall and felt as if my skin was crawling. I could only assume Kudo felt the same way about seeing me in his body.

He didn't say anything about it but grimly handed over Kaitou Kid's suit. "I don't get why you wear white at all," he stated calmly as if swapping bodies was a totally normal thing for him. **_Then again, it probably was, seeing how he had lived a second childhood for two years._** "It's see-through when wet, it sticks out, it attracts stains--"

"And it's the opposite of black," I finished soberly, stuffing the clothes into a plastic bag I had gotten from my suit's pocket. I gave him a withering look before cocking an eyebrow. "Interesting how the good colors are most easily messed up, right?"

He didn't comment and appeared more uncomfortable now than he did before. So I decided to lighten the atmosphere by digging through the bag. "Now I know that stupid gem's in here somewhere," I muttered to myself, digging through my many pockets. "That thing is just liking its job of tormenting me tonight--"

I stopped muttering when I saw Kudo hold up something. He quickly cupped it in his hand and, glancing about to make sure no one was near, put it in his pocket. "I thought it would be better if I should hold onto it for now," he explained calmly, giving me that typical detective expression that just looked plain weird on my face.

I shrugged, flinging the bag of clothes up onto my shoulder. "Fine with me," I said agreeably. "I can't stand that thing, really. It's been a nuisance. I won't miss it when I deliver it back, that's for sure."

"Before that," Kudo said with a frown, "you're going to tell me about what's happened and why the hell you're in my body."

"Because you're in mine?" I suggested playfully.

**_...I must be making Koizumi proud with all these random innuendos that I don't notice until after writing them._**

...I'm officially afraid for my sanity.

Continuing...

Kudo didn't buy that for a second, and I said, "Okay, okay. But when we get home. I want to explain things to Hakuba and Hattori, too. Maybe they could figure something out sooner?"

"Sooner? What do you mean sooner?"

I sweatdropped. Not good thing. Very bad thing. Thing that will get me killed by Kudo.

"Ara..." I stated smartly. "It's just that the legend behind the Daughter of the Sky gem is...well...it has this time limit thing to the whole switching thing...and--" I noticed how Kudo was giving me a darker and darker glare and decided that we should start moving. I led the way to Kudo's house, while continuing as if I didn't hesitate at all, "--the thing is...until that time limit's up...we're kind of...stuck how we are."

** _Oh...he did not like that one bit._**

His eye twitched...it was a bit scary to see him get that upset, but everyone tells us that we bring out different personalities from each other. Kudo just happens to like to get angry at me a lot because he's scared he'll actually have fun if he doesn't. That's my theory, anyway...

"There's a timed limit?" he asked, looking ready to either tear his--_my_ hair out or strangle me--_his body_ to death. Neither was looking good on my part.

I laughed nervously, trying to calm his nerves by showing that I was unnerved by all of this, too. Maybe I wasn't doing so good on relaying that. Sometimes Poker Face gets in the way with situations like this. "Well, yeah," I answered, sounding a little too cheerful to my own ears. "But it's still only a temporary--"

"I blame you," he stated bluntly, giving me a cold look.

I blinked in surprised before stopping sharply and giving him an incredulous look. "Me?" I asked in disbelief. "How can you blame me?"

"Kuroba?" he asked in a calm manner.

"Yeah?" I asked, feeling more than a little indignant that he was treating me this way.

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT STOLE THE JEWEL!"

I sweatdropped again. Well, that was a very good reason I could be blamed. I didn't bother with pointing out he could have just not followed me up on that pole. He would have tried to wriggle out of that accusation. So, instead, I said, "...oh, yeah..." in a rather clueless manner.

Kudo started to mutter to himself about how this was unfair as he had just gotten out of a similar situation not more than a few weeks ago. He continued walking to his house while I watched him for a minute. I could just see that he was more dejected than what he showed to me. That was always a problem with him. He never liked to show anyone he was in a sad or melancholy disposition. That's another reason for the anger towards me and the situation.

And with what I knew about the legend, he had plenty of reasons to be upset and depressed.

I hurried to catch up with him, to reassure him. "It's not that bad," I said in a hopeful manner. "We'll just have to work this way until we're normal again."

"And how long will that take?" he asked bitterly, seeming to get into his head that this was a repeat of his shrunken days.

I hesitated. I knew I said that I wouldn't tell him anymore about the legend of the gem, but he had asked and maybe it would help to put him in a better mood. "...twenty-eight days?" I said in a timid manner, not entirely sure how Kudo would take to the news.

He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "Kuroba?"

"Yeah?" I responded, looking to him, not knowing what to expect. He was more unpredictable than ever right then.

"If the situation was different and you _weren't _in my body, I would _kill you_."

The statement was made so calmly that I couldn't help but to crack a smile and chuckle.

**_I could never stay serious for long. If I did, I think I would end up breaking to pieces. It's the only way I know how to get passed the hard things. Keep on smiling and you won't have to hurt so much. Because when you smile, people around you smile. That's how I managed to survive as I have._**

So, with a mocking frown, I told him teasingly, "Gee, think you could frown any heavier?" I then stretched my arms a bit, feeling a bit stiff in the joints. "You're going to give me wrinkles if you keep that up. Besides, like I said: it's not that bad--"

Kudo stopped walking and stopped me with a serious expression. "You forgot one thing."

"What?" I asked cluelessly, honestly not knowing what on earth I could have forgotten.

"YOU HAVE A HEIST IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!"

I froze. Oh. Right. How could I forget about that little detail?

**_Apparently a whole lot easier than I thought. Ah, the dilemma. It makes the story a whole lot more interesting, though, doesn't it? Not only is there a wedding in less than twenty-eight days away, there was Kaitou Kid's next heist only two weeks away. Nakamori-keibu would be even more alert if Kid failed to show up at a heist that he gave warning to two weeks in advance._**

Makes you wonder who will play those roles, doesn't it?

  


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_Author's notes:_ -sweatdrops- Okay, my Kaito persona felt like changing up how the story will go, so the actual explanation of the Daughter of the Sky gem won't be until next time. Sorry, sorry. He's being stubborn. Wanted to get out the reactions of the body switched first. Don't ask me, he's in control. -.-' I've lost control of this story at the Introduction... 


	5. Act 1 Scene 4: Quick Explanations and De...

**_Scene Four:_** _Quick Explanations and Decisions (To Postpone or Not to Postpone...)_

  


**_You know, there's always the simple, easy solutions to life. When you're hungry, you eat. When you're thirsty, you drink. But what if someone was just plain stubborn and wouldn't eat when he was hungry just because he claimed he would never eat the only thing he had in stock? Or that the only thing he had to drink wasn't entirely a good thing to drink? If one was truly hungry and thirsty, this wouldn't matter. The point is that stubbornness always gets in the way at times until one becomes truly desperate...which is why finding a solution for the heist and the wedding was difficult to determine._**

Even with Hakuba and Hattori's help.

"A whole month?" Hattori asked the two of us, looking incredibly unsure of the situation. I knew he was thinking I might have somehow talked Kudo into playing a prank on the two of them, but since when has Kudo listened to me? Definitely not that night.

"Twenty-eight days," mused Hakuba, looking over to me with a fairly amused expression. "Well, you've found a gem whose legend is apparently true for once."

I rolled my eyes. "Ha ha, okay, that doesn't deserve a response." I continued just before he could interrupt me, "So you guys actually believe that we've kind of did a switch rather than my talking Kudo here into a prank that involved a switch. I know that's a thought that's been tempting you to believe."

Kudo snorted, obviously thinking the same thing about that theory as I did. Utterly ridiculous really.

Hattori waved my words off without much worry. "Even though the thought did cross my mind, I know that neither of you would go for that because even though you like to disguise yourself as people, Kuroba, you don't like people disguising themselves as you."

"Besides," Hakuba added drawling, seeming to enjoy the predicament we were in, "Kudo would never go along with something like that...unless he was truly bored by the heist." He glanced over to Kudo, who managed to have enough sense to be sheepish at this.

"Look," he said to defend himself, holding up his hands--my hands...I was starting to get annoyed at this stupid switch, "I was only trying to catch Kaitou Kid--"

"Going out on a limb isn't the best way to go about that," Hakuba pointed out with a serious look. "You could have gotten yourself killed if Kid didn't know what was below you two. You weren't thinking, were you, Kudo? Just admit it and we can get on with your...present situation."

Kudo shook his head in submission, while I gaped.

"That is so _not fair!_" I exclaimed, pointing at the blond-haired detective. "I've been trying to get him to admit to that since we got out of the freakin' pool and you got him to do that within ten minutes!"

Hakuba merely shrugged, looking over to Hattori with a grin.

Hattori coughed into a fist, quickly getting rid of his own grin--_**I suppose this was all very amusing for them.** _"Anyway, we should probably go over the facts about what happened," he said, pushing for us to focus on the case at hand. He then turned to me and asked, "You know the legend behind the Daughter of the Sky gem, right? We could start from there."

I sweatdropped. "It's not a nice legend," I informed them. "No happy ending, I promise."

"Just tell it," Kudo said with a tired sigh as he went to sit down in a chair. I winced at the sight of myself sitting boneless in the chair.

"Okay, fine," I said with a frown, "but don't get over-agitated because of the ending. Just because it happened to them, doesn't mean it'll happen to us."

"Them?" Hattori asked, immediately sharp-eyed and quick-witted.

So I began to tell the story. "Well, think of that old story...what's the title, Hakuba? Where the royal guy switched with--"

"_The Prince and the Pauper_," Hakuba supplied with a surprised look, "though I'm surprised how you would know of it."

"Well, it has to do with the legend," I retorted smoothly. "The difference is that this legend had to do with a princess and a poor girl. And the princess didn't get to have her crown at the end because the poor girl liked the station so much and chose to punish the princess for her selfishness in giving up a position of power when she could have done something for her people."

Even Kudo seemed troubled by this summary of the story, and I smiled nervously. "Well, I did say there wasn't a happy ending to it." I quickly dove into the story before they could really react:

"Well, in the beginning, the princess was that selfish girl that wanted to get out of her smothering, yet loving, environment. She was supposed to be getting married to a young prince from another kingdom but thought he was rather unpleasant to look at. So to escape her marriage, she sought the help of an old witch that lived outside of the kingdom. The witch gave her a jewel which was said to be able to help two people change places without anyone else knowing. They had twenty-eight days in which they would live as the other person. Only after exactly twenty-eight days could they switch back, otherwise it was a permanent arrangement. Not entirely heeding the old witch's words, the princess sought out in her kingdom, a young maiden she could switch lives with.

"She found the maiden to be a good-looking and kind girl who, though poor, could probably marry up into another class if she so wished. When she approached the girl with the offer, however, the young girl burst into tears and immediately agreed. So that night, they went back to the witch who helped them perform the switch. They both entered a lake and when told they had to be completely surrounded by water, they both obeyed. Then the witch dropped the gem into the lake. The switch occurred then, and both of the girls very happy, they went on to each other's lives.

"But immediately, the princess detested her new life. The poor girl's father was a cruel man and had already arranged a marriage to a cruel, elder friend of his. Horrified, the princess fought and fought to get out of the marriage, but it was arranged to occur before the twenty-eight days were over. She ended up marrying the man, thinking all the while that the poor girl would be stuck with him when they switched back. When she approached the poor girl on the twenty-eighth day, however, she discovered that this was not the case.

"The poor girl had fallen in love with the princess's betrothed and they had gotten married as well. Not only that, but the king was ill and dying, which meant that the poor girl and the prince would soon by ruling the kingdom. So when the princess came to call on the poor girl to switch places, the poor girl immediately proclaimed the switch would not happen. The princess didn't listen, though and arranged with the witch to have the ceremony readied once more. When the night came and went, however, the princess realized that the poor girl really had no intention of trading places again and would come to be the new queen on the day her father died. So, for the rest of her life, the princess lived as the poor girl and never heard from the queen again."

_**...I don't know why people consider silence as golden. I find it to be eerie as hell.**_

I sweatdropped when I saw the others' expressions. They all seemed pretty stunned by the legend behind the gem, and Kudo looked ready to fall out of his seat. I was quick to reassure everyone, "But that won't happen with us because neither Kudo or I want to be switched like this for the rest of our lives, that right, Kudo?"

"A-Aa..." was all he could managed to say for the moment.

Again I smiled sheepishly. "If I would have known this would have been the reaction, I should have saved it for when you were really mad at me," I said lightly, laughing a bit in hopes to lighten the atmosphere.

**_ It got some people to start moving, if anything._**

"Kuroba," Hakuba asked while gazing steadily at me.

"Heh?"

"Why must you always go after things that get you into trouble?"

Again I sweatdropped. "Well, I didn't really look into the legend," I quickly explained, "and I didn't really believe it anyway because all the other legends I've run across have been false, so you can hardly blame me for--"

"No one was blaming you, Kuroba," Hattori interrupted before I got too agitated, which I realized had been about to happen. "Really, I think it's both of your faults, so we need to figure out how to get this fixed."

Hakuba looked to be deep in thought. "Well, considering the legend, we should just wait until the twenty-eighth day--"

"But what about the wedding?" Kudo burst out, seeming to come out of his stupor quickly, "And the heist? There is no way that Kuroba's going to that heist looking like me!"

I rolled my eyes. "Master of disguise, Kudo," I muttered.

He pointed a finger at me. "And there's no way I'm going to the wedding looking like him!"

"We could postpone both of them--" Hattori began to suggest.

"NO!"

The Osaka detective shrank back at the exclamation from Kudo and me. "Well, it was just a suggestion," he muttered sourly.

"It was a good one," Hakuba stated firmly before looking to Kudo and me. "You're both being stubborn. Kuroba, just redate the heist. Your letter hasn't been sent yet, has it?"

"No," I said, looking pained, "but it's already with the person that going to deliver it and I won't be able to take it back from them or else they'll get suspicious. That was the whole purpose of doing it this way!"

"All right, fine," Hakuba said flatly, obviously annoyed by my thinking ahead. "Then, Kudo, what harm is it to push the date of the wedding back just a few days? It can't do any harm to let Mouri-san know that there's difficulties with the date set--"

"I was the one that pushed for that date, Hakuba," Kudo pointed out, a depressed look on his face. "If I ask Ran to hold the wedding back a few days, then she'll think that there's something wrong with me or that I might want to change my mind or she'll start to change her mind. I don't want any of those things to happen."

Hakuba put his face into his left hand in exasperation. "You two," he proclaimed, "are the worst at getting yourselves into impossible situations."

**_Heh. Looking back, I think I should have burst out laughing at the truth in his statement._**

Instead, I took the childish approach to the situation and pointed at Kudo. "It's his fault!"

"What!" shouted Kudo with indignation. "This is _not_ my fault, Kuroba!"

"It is too!" I retorted. "You shouldn't have followed me onto that pole!"

_**So began the argument of whose fault it was--Kaitou Kid versus Kudo Shinichi, round one. Ding!**_

"You shouldn't have gotten onto the pole!"

"You shouldn't have had Hattori cut the wiring in my cape!"

"You shouldn't have tried to escape in a cloud of smoke!"

"You shouldn't have followed me onto the roof!"

"You shouldn't have run to the roof!"

Hattori tried to interrupt us, "Kuroba...Kudo--"

"You shouldn't have used that stupid bow tie!"

"You shouldn't have disguised yourself as a police officer!"

Hakuba shook his head at the two of us before saying to Hattori. "It's useless to interrupt," he said, though my mind was on the argument on hand. "Just let them have at it."

"You shouldn't have been so eager to go to the heist!"

"That has nothing to do with you dressing up as an officer of the law!"

"Yes, it does!"

"No, it doesn't!"

"It does!"

"It doesn't!"

"It does!"

"It does not!"

"It does--"

"Shinichi?" We all froze as knock came at the door. "Shinichi, is everything okay in there?"

Kudo opened his mouth to answer, but I quickly ran over and smacked my hand to his face. "Everything's fine!" I answered, getting a glare from Kudo. "Kuroba and I are just talking!"

Ran-chan's voice sounded vaguely confused when she replied, "All right...sure...but could you keep it down? Kazuha, Aoko, Sonoko, and I are trying to work on the arrangements."

"Sure thing!" I responded before pausing to listen to her footsteps walk away from the door. I let out a sigh of relief, glad that the ruse had worked because I was used to having to change my voice in order to impersonate someone.

Kudo said, voice muffled by my hand, "Ah mfate eyew..."

I grinned, looking down at him. "What was that, Kuroba?" I asked mockingly, still playing my role to get a rise out of the meitantei. " 'A fate...ew?' 'A mate for you?' That's not very nice."

He shoved my hand away and glowered. "I really can not stand you, Kuroba," he stated firmly.

I smiled brightly. "It's only because you love me so much, Kudo," I said, patting him on the shoulder before quickly moving away, laughing at his expression.

Hakuba shook his head. "Are you done now?" he asked patiently.

"Yeah," I answered once I was finished with my laughter, sitting in a chair, mimicking Kudo's positioning. "But it still wasn't my fault that this all happened."

"Well, it wasn't mine," retorted Kudo, glaring at me from across the room, shifting in his seat.

I did the same, smiling the whole time. "Whatever you say, Kudo."

Hattori looked between the two of us before blinking. "Okay, you two are too much alike for your own good," he said before scratching his head a little in confusion. "And why didn't we just tell Neechan what's going on?"

I waved a hand before sitting up and acted as if I was shaking hands with someone. "How do you do? I'm Kuroba Kaito, but you might know me better as Kaitou Kid."

Hattori scowled at this. "You know," he said with some annoyance, "you being the Kaitou Kid really causes a lot of trouble."

I threw my hands up into the air. "I'm sorry, all right!" I exclaimed, tired of hearing this from everyone that knew. Sarcasm seemed to come out of me without my thinking of it as I then said, "I'm so sorry that my family has a history of kaitou that steal only to return things to embarrass people. I'm so sorry my father was hired by the Black Organization to find the Pandora. I'm _ever so sorry_ that my father was _killed_ by those people because he went against them. I'm _really very sorry_ that I actually _want to find Pandora before anybody else does!_"

Then I went quiet, looking to each of them with a firm gaze.

They actually seemed to be surprised I had lost my cool. Except for Hakuba.

_**Sometimes it feels like Hakuba's the only one that understands how I feel about being the Kaitou Kid.**_

"Kuroba..." Hattori attempted to say, obviously feeling guilty for being the one that had been the last straw.

I smiled a bit, waving off his words. "It's all right," I said lightly, acting as if I hadn't just showed them all a sore wound to my heart. "I know I'm a pain as the Kaitou Kid. A big pain, really."

_**Especially to Aoko and Nakamori-keibu...**_

I refused to look over to Kudo as I said, "So what do we do to get around Kudo's and mine stubbornness?"

**_I don't really know why I couldn't stand to look at Kudo right then. I guess that I didn't want to see if he was feeling guilty as well or if he pretending nothing had happened like I had. Either reaction would have left me feeling more uncomfortable than I already was since it would be on my own face rather than his._**

I don't know...maybe I was afraid of someone actually understanding...

He was the one who answered my question, however. "We'll think of something," he insisted firmly. "We got two weeks to figure out the first problem and then some more time to figure out how to fix the wedding."

I suddenly found a grin on my face at those words. The others noticed and looked curious. "I've got an idea," I stated proudly before lifting a finger. "We'll fix the wedding!"

Kudo frowned. "That's what I said."

"But it's not what you meant," I countered gleefully before rubbing my hands together. "We fix it. We delay it because of unforeseen events--"

"You can't do that!" Kudo protested.

"Would you prefer me marrying Ran-chan?" I asked him seriously, receiving a glowering gaze in return. "Thought so. If Ran-chan ever learns about this situation, then she'll forgive us, but until then, she'll think it was just an unfortunate event that couldn't be helped."

Hakuba smirked. "There's an idea," he said with some appreciation, "that might actually work."

Hattori agreed, as did Kudo, though reluctantly. Soon the three detectives were starting to plan out the 'unfortunate event' that would befallen the wedding in twenty days. I, however, remained where I was, thinking over what Hakuba had said. I sweatdropped. "What do you mean, 'might actually'?" 

_**So you see, my dear audience, it isn't a simple matter to fix our situations. The heist would go on because I refused to have myself get caught trying to stop the letter from getting to Nakamori-keibu, therefore exposing me as the Kaitou Kid. And Kudo refused to push back the wedding date himself because he was the one that insisted on having the wedding on that day--it's very true, too. Right after the Black Organization incident, he was very determined to have the wedding within a month.**_

But, as Hattori said, Kudo and I are too much alike for our own good and our stubbornness was part of the reason we were in this situation in the first place. Maybe we should have just admitted to that rather than use it as a button to start an argument afterward...

...maybe not. What would be the fun in that?

  


End of Act One

  


* * *

Author's notes: Ah...-sweatdrops- Kaito persona wanted to show you all why there was a big problem with the heist and wedding...plus, he wanted to say how stubborn Kudo and him are. -shrugs- Don't ask me. I write what I'm told. I have no opinion. :P Anyway, I want to thank _ Lucathia Rykatu_ for their wonderful reviews. Those are the kind of reviews I love and crave. They make me happy and is part of the reason my Kaito persona wanted to get this out before the seventh review for the last chapter. (That's been our posting-limit, if you haven't noticed.) Anyway, I hope you all have enjoyed! Ja! 


	6. Between Acts: Technical Difficulties

**_Technical Difficulties_**

  


**_Apologies! Apologies! Seems as though, my dear audience, there has been an unexpected delay in the presentation of this play. That's my fault, actually. Heh...didn't really go over the next few parts with the actors and they're not really appreciative -_**

What the hell are you talking about, Kuroba? You haven't continued this thing because you're lazy as hell -

_Well, we also had another bit of a situation -_

_Don't get ahead of the story, Kuroba, or else you'll confuse the audience._

**Hey, who said you all could come onto my stage? This is so cruel of you all! And I'll have you know, Hattori, my top hat's in a place where you'll never find it -**

You mean in that 'potted vase' in your room? Been knowing about that, Kuroba.

**You people are ruining my performance...**

**So perform. We're not stopping you. We're just going to stick around and have a say in things unlike the last act.**

_But that defeats the purpose of my having this! You're so cruel, Kudo!_

_Ahem...audience who still is waiting for the next piece of this farce -_

**And just what are you calling a farce, Hakuba? This is fact! It really happened! You were there -**

Of course I was. But the fact remains that this is a farce in the way it is presented. None of us missed your sarcastic comments about us. I do hope you know this means war. (And I was addressing the audience, not you.)

**Eh heh...Come on, Hakuba. It was a joke! Honestly! Never meant any offense -**

Got his hat!

**Quick! Hide it away while he's on stage!**

_Hey, wait! Give that back - Damn you, Hattori! You better take care of that hat or you'll be paying a bundle for it! You hear me!_

...forgive the intrusion, people of the audience. Seems as though my plan to keep my top hat out of harms way worked unbelievably well. Heh...you didn't really think I would leave it in such a simple hiding place? Disguising it as a vase...really, Hattori, you really fell for something so simple? XD

In any case, there should a progression of this play sooner or later. Quite honestly, you wouldn't even have gotten this little bit from me if it were for my editor -

You rang?

**_Why is everyone determined to invade my stage? Do you mind?_**

Not at all. Continue!

**_...you all hate me. That must be it. Anyway...well, now I forgot what I was going to say. Ah, well...there shall be a second act! The show must go on, as you well know! And you can trust in me to continue with this pet project of mine. Phantom Thief's Honor and all that._**

And now I must leave for now...if I don't, they might actually find where my hat is hidden. Until the second act, my beloved audience!

Promising the second act when he returns,

Kuroba Kaito  
AKA  
Kaitou Kid

  


* * *

_Author's Notes:_ A bit of a side thing to keep you entertained...might end up doing between the second and third act. -shrugs- Anyway, I just have a couple of things to say and then I'll be out of your hair for a little bit while I work on the second act some. Reason why this took so long: It WAS Kaito's fault. He wouldn't let me write anymore, saying it was intermission. I eventually manage to remind him that there were at least three acts, not two. So, here we are. -grins-

Second thing is that _The Prince and the Pauper_ is a book written by Mark Twain. The story is only similar to what Kaito told in the last scene of the first act in the sense that a person of royalty switched places with a person of humble upbringings. There wasn't any mystical thing about the switch. The Prince saw that he and the Pauper looked alike and they switched places by changing clothes. The Prince was thrown out of the castle while the Pauper was kept at the palace. At the end of the book, the Pauper is almost crowned King (not by his own choosing) until the Prince comes in and the two of them explain the switch. In the end, the Pauper is glad to hand the responsibilities out that role back to the Prince and they both lived happily ever after.

So yeah...just a quick explanation of what's going on. Think I'll go work on the second act now. -finds Kaito backstage and drags him off by the ear, him whining, "I'm coming, Editor! I am! Look! See? I'm following!" 


	7. Act 2 Scene 1: Play the Part

_**Act Two**_

  


Scene One: Play the Part (Role-reversal...Does the Mind Good)

  


**_Honestly, I would have never thought this kind of thing could happen to me. I mean, yeah--the take-place-of-another-person thing I have done, but someone taking my place? I never thought that someone could pull it off--not believably, anyway._**

...should have known Kudo would be the one to do it.

But before we get to that, I should probably tell you why I really don't like to be impersonated. One: it can mess with certain elements in my life. (Like that time with Robot-san...Aoko couldn't talk to me for over a week without going red for some reason or another.) Two: it ruins my reputation. (Like those times Kaitou Kid copycats decided it was fun to attempt a heist just to lure me out or just to prove to his elementary school friends that he's really the Kaitou Kid by saying he'd steal a homerun ball from a no-hitter baseball player...)

I bet this makes you wonder why I continue to impersonate people. Well, easy enough to explain. I am always in character--that is, I don't do something that the person I'm impersonating wouldn't do. Unless I slip up...or I have to guess what they would do next...

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW CLOSE YOU AND RAN-CHAN HAD GOTTEN IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS, KUDO?

...okay, better now.

It was inevitable that Ran-chan would want some of her fiancé's attention, seeing as how he appeared to be with Hakuba Saguru, Hattori Heiji, and Kuroba Kaito for almost twenty-four hours. I knew she'd somehow find a way to drag me--that is, Kudo Shinichi away from the men long enough to make me uncomfortable and make Kudo--that is, Kuroba Kaito pissed at me for getting Ran-chan's attention.

**_Honestly, Kudo, I could have gone without this incident myself..._**

It was during a planning-session for my scheduled heist. Kudo and I were arguing about whether or not I could wear a disguise and still be Kaitou Kid in Kudo's body, and whether or not Kudo would be willing to do the heist himself. Kudo, needless to say, was resisting both ideas and was pushing for me to postpone. I, naturally, ignored him and wondered aloud if Kudo's body could handle the stress and strain of Kid's line of work.

Kudo, as expected, asked slowly, "Are you saying I'm out-of-shape?"

I, of course, responded cheekily, "No, of course not--hm...well, _maybe_...just a _little_--"

"Oh, yeah?" he countered before holding up his hands and wiggling his fingers at me. "At least my hands don't look like a woman's."

_**Ooooh...low blow...especially considering the underlying insult that he was just wanting to gloat at. Yep...he was a bastard. A cold, heartless bastard.**_

...no wonder I like to hang around him.

I leaned back in my seat, mimicking the way that Kudo usually sat, an arm thrown over the back of the chair and my left ankle propped on my right knee as I used my right foot to lift the chair back onto its back legs. A smirk crawled its way onto my face as I attempted to shrug off the cheap shot at my masculinity. Was it my fault that I had a slightly more lithe build than Kudo? "Small hands make for good thefts, don't you know?" I responded with a cheerful air, "same for how flexible bodies make for good performances."

_**Oh, yeah...he hated me. XD**_

Ever the one who wanted to seem in control, Kudo merely snorted through his nose, lowering his hands. I had expected him to continue with his argument against any piece of him participating in my heist. What I hadn't expect was for him to suddenly flash a winning smile and cheerfully wave behind me, "Na, Ran-chan, how long have you been there?"

I blinked.

I leaned my head against the back of the chair and looked up at the ceiling to see a very irked and annoyed Ran-chan glaring at me with blue eyes that usually smiled at me. I found myself thinking: So _this_ was how Kudo saw her. Damned if she wasn't beautiful at the same time she was scary.

_Tap._

My eyes flew wide open as I felt the chair over-balance and realized that there wasn't a damn thing I could do to save myself from the fall as it was all a part of Kudo's normal routine. When Ran-chan was irked or annoyed, Kudo got hurt. Simple as that.

_Bam!_

"Owowowowow..." I immediately muttered and hissed under my breath as I rolled over to the side and sat myself up, rubbing the back of my sore head. Tears pricked at my eyes, and I made sure to aim a disgruntled and hateful glare over to Kudo who was purposefully not hiding a wicked grin and snicker behind his hands.

_**...and I have learned since then not to do that to anyone I respected. That's right...from then on, those kinds of snickers were only directed to Kudo.**_

"Kudo Shinichi," Ran-chan snapped heatedly, "just where have you been? I know you haven't been resting like you should. Sneaking in last night as if you were the master of sneaking. I heard you come in! Why do you think that I came to your room last night, anyway? Just because you and Kaito-kun had another one of your matches of wit...?"

Ho boy...and she was off. I just continued to sit on the ground, cowering back from her fisted hands and tense stance. Ran-chan knew karate, and unlike dodging a mop-wielding Aoko, I had no clue how to dodge any of those kinds of things. Not without giving something away. The best I could was to just sit there and take it like Kudo would...with the occasional glance over in Kudo's direction to see how he was holding up to the whole thing.

He looked to be recovering from the initial surprise. Although he hadn't let the smile fall off, as soon as Ran-chan had started the ranting, he had turned a very pale shade of white. Now, however, that the color was coming back into his cheeks, he was leaning forward in his seat with an arm on the table, fingers tapping, and the other arm's elbow propped up with that hand propping up his head. A wicked yet wide grin was on his face as he watched. It was one of those 'now you know how _I_ live every day' looks.

I couldn't help but to agree. I had _no_ idea just how scary it was to be Kudo Shinichi, meitantei.

"...just come in with the choices of flower arrangements and I know that you are not used to doing these kinds of things, but really, you're the one that proposed and the one that set the date, couldn't you do a little more to help out other than sneak off to a Kaitou Kid heist when you're supposed to be in bed _resting?_ Maybe Aoko was right. Maybe Kaito-kun is becoming a bad influence on you...as if Heiji-kun wasn't enough..."

I sweatdropped at this and decided I should derail that train-of-thought as soon as I could or else there would be problems in the future. So I stood myself up and placed my hands on her shoulders as I was accustomed to seeing Kudo do to catch her attention. She stopped her rambling and blinked at my hand in confusion before looking up to me.

Luckily, the 'Kudo grave look of confession or admittance' was something I had mastered a long time ago. "You're right, Ran," I said with a firm nod. "I shouldn't be skipping out to go around chasing a thief at a time like this. Especially since I'm the one that pushed for it."

The severe look on the young woman's face washed away with that simple agreement with her words. I was a bit surprised, however, to feel her lean into my hold on her shoulders and fought to keep down an embarrassed blush. I mean, honestly, the two of them were engaged. Of course they were going to be open about their emotions...cuddling and whatnot.

_**...would it be wrong to admit that I was picturing someone else in Ran-chan's place? Yeah...let's keep that between us, ne?**_

"So what is it that you need, again? To help with flower arrangements, right?" Heh...if that was the case, I could do that easily. Perks to having a traditional mother to watch all the time when I was a child--learned a lot of crafts and talents that could be put to use during times in female disguises.

Ran-chan leaned more into my arms, and I fought the urge to back away. Kudo wouldn't have backed away...no...he would...lean in, too...

...crap.

"Actually," Ran-chan said, looking up to me again with a small smile, "I was thinking that since today is _supposed_ to be the day you're allowed to be up and about, we could spend some more time together." A worried look came across her face then. "It's just that things are getting a little hectic and I just don't know if what I'm doing is going to be all right--"

"Hey, hey," I interrupted with a small laugh while I tried to mentally signal a distress signal to the real Kudo Shinichi who was watching another person in his body embracing his fiancée.

Rule of the trade: Hands off of what you're not going after. Keep mind focused on the goal, and if something comes up that needs to be moved around some...improvise.

This was one improv that I _did not_ want to have a hand in.

"There's no reason to get nervous," I said in a cheerful yet soft manner that I had heard Kudo use once in a while to calm Ran-chan down when she was upset. "Things'll be okay. I'm not planning on running off anywhere dangerous again for a while. Are you?"

She slapped my chest. "Idiot," she stated fondly, "that was always you." Her head tilted up, and I nearly dashed away, leaving her to fall to the ground with no support.

I knew _exactly_ what she expected then.

_**Kudo...you were late on your cue.**_

Play the role. Play the role. What would Kudo do in this situation? Well, in the past, he would have probably been blushing a lot and hoping to whatever deity was out there that someone would either keep everyone away or bring in a new case for him to follow up on. That's what Kudo _would_ have done back in the past.

In that time, however, I was pretty sure that things weren't like that anymore.

...so exactly _how_ do I give Ran-chan the expected kiss without her noticing that there was something _way_ off about it. Like how it wasn't exactly experienced, and how it was definitely _not_ her fiancé.

I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to see--

My own face watching Ran-chan and me as we both paused where we were and stared at the new-comer to the small embrace. Kudo looked distantly disgruntled, but played his part in the mischievous counter-part by looking between the two of us. Then he poked a thumb in my direction and asked Ran-chan, "You sure he's ready for that kind of thing right now?"

_**Another low blow. Well, sorry, Experience-san. It happens to be that I have a lot of experience in things...just not dating...or kissing...or...other activities.**_

...I hate you, Kudo. Let it be noted.

Ran-chan seemed to realize that Kudo was talking about my 'just recovering' from a few weeks ago and stood up straighter, taking her hands away slightly, letting them hover near me as if she was afraid I'd suddenly shatter into pieces if handled roughtly. "Oh...your right...Shinichi should probably rest some more."

I inwardly let out a sigh of relief.

It was over. No need to panic that day. Ran-chan would play nurse-maid for a little while longer--

"KAITO!" a certain voice called from outside the room, and I paled a little at the tone of it. Kudo, taking his cue from me, seemed to mirror my expression as he cursed quietly and said, "Aw, crap. Aoko."

He looked ready to start off to look for a get-away, but paused to suspiciously look at me, managing to hide the expression from Ran-chan.

I gave a small wave as I smirked at him. "Good luck keeping her from the mop!" I offered helpfully before he cursed again and scurried off. Probably to try to find Hakuba or Hattori to defend him from Aoko's wild swings.

I think the reason for Aoko's tone then was for a small little gift I had left for her father the night before in the pool. If there was anyone she was going to take out her anger and frustration on, it would be me.

Heh...so now it goes the other way, I thought to myself smugly before I suddenly had a revelation that hit me like a ton of bricks. A reminder from the past. One of the reasons I _hated_ to be impersonated.

I sweatdropped, remembering that particular episode with Robot-san, and tried to get passed Ran-chan as I heard some crashes coming from the next floor. "Maybe I should--"

Ran-chan clamped onto my arm. "Oh, no you don't," she said with that severe tone again. "You said you were going to help with the flower arrangements. You better not be trying to get away from a promise."

I gave her a nervous laugh. "Of course not! It's just--" _Crash!_ "--I don't want anything to get broken, is all!"

Ran-chan didn't buy that one bit.

Not good. Not good, not good, notgoodnotgood! Let the panicking begin! While I got stuck with a wanting Ran-chan and Kudo ended up being chased around the house by a crazed Aoko, there would be _no time_ for us to get our plans together.

_**Tick-tock.**_

Time was running out, and the two women we loved were really making things a whole lot harder for us.

  


* * *

_Autho's Notes:_ cheers YATTA! HE LISTENED TO ME FOR ONCE! ...at 5 IN THE MORNING! -glares daggers of DOOM at Kaito, who sweatdrops nervously backstage- ... -coughs- Right, sorry for the long delay. -rolls eyes- It was Kaito's fault...and now that I have this out, the next scenes of Act II shouldn't be that hard to get out. -snickers- Oh, it gets fun. Promise. You know how Kaito was freaking out in the narrative at the beginning? Yeah...situation with Ran gets...interesting, right, Kaito? (Kaito: -whining- "You're so cruel to me, Editor-san! Can you at least get Hattori to give my hat back now? You didn't have to tell them where it was!") Too bad! Punishment for making the readers wait! BOHAHAHA!

...right, I'm done here. -grins and gives a small salute- Hope you all enjoyed! 


End file.
